Surviving A Break-Up

You spent time with this person, formed a bond, shared intimate moments, maybe even loved them and now they are gone. If you are going through a break-up and find yourself having a hard time picking up the pieces, don't beat yourself up for feeling this way. It is perfectly normal to grieve the loss of someone you loved or still love. The goal is to try to cut the grieving time down as much as possible. It may seem almost impossible because you can't see past your pain right now, but you can and will get through it. When I was going through a particularly bad break-up, I came across a blog by an author named Susan Russo. I encourage you to read her blogs, sign up for her newsletters, and read the free articles on her website. Keep an open mind while reading and have faith that this will pass.

Here are a few of my own personal rules for getting through a break-up:

1. The GOLDEN RULE of break-ups: STAY BUSY!! Go to the gym, do over time at work, take your child to the park, read a book, write a book, watch movies, start a business. Do ANYTHING to keep your mind occupied, so you don't sit there and dwell on the why's, what if's, wondering what they're doing, etc.

2. Be honest with yourself. Your relationship didn't work out for a reason. The only way you can truly move on is to accept the fact that it's over. I know that sounds harsh, but until you do, you will be stuck right where you are. You will never be able to move forward because you will waste your time hoping, wishing, and praying for something that simply wasn't meant to be. If it was meant to be, it would've been!

3. If it was a particularly bad break-up in which you were betrayed in some way, you may be having thoughts of revenge. LET THAT GO NOW! If you were wronged, this person doesn't deserve the energy it takes to plot and carry out revenge. You don't have to do it now, but at some point you should try to forgive them so that YOU can move on. When you hold on to hateful thoughts you are giving them more power over you and your life. Haven't you given them enough of your life already? Remember: "A life well lived is the best revenge". Life and Karma will handle the rest.

4. Do not under any circumstances contact this person or answer when they try to contact you. There is nothing worse then going through that limbo stage. Its always best to make a clean break. Call your mama, your bff, pizza hut, speak to a representative at Sprint, call whoever you need to call if you feel like you need to talk, just don't call them. Speaking to them, especially when your feelings are still raw will only set you back and then you have to start the process all over again. Be honest with yourself, know when its over, STAY BUSY and move on completely.

5. Stay off of their social networking pages! I can't stress this enough!! Unless you like the feeling of dying slowly inside every time you see their status change, pics of them enjoying themselves at a party when they're supposed to be home crying over you, talking to people of the opposite sex, etc. then please don't do it to yourself! You don't need to know what they are up to, who they are dating, and where they are partying. They are no longer your responsibility or a concern of yours. You are too busy being busy, right? You don't intentionally do things to inflict pain on yourself, right? RIGHT! Your focus is living a happy and healthy life, just like you did before them and like you will long after them!